leisure is hard

shortly after my leisurely breakfast confession, I created a zen corner in my apartment. the theory behind it was to have an area that could serve as a space with no other purpose but for me to chill out, tucked away from the main rooms in my home. I made a low table out of a paned window and put some cushions on the floor. in my head, I imagined this as a place where I would go and drink tea and think about trees and life goals. in reality, I knew that it would likely involve me sitting there, muttering, "zen. zen!" under my breath.

but mostly, I envisioned eating breakfast in my zen corner, beginning my day slowly and calmly. I even switched my schedule around a bit so that I had more time for breakfast, more time to relax and reflect as I got ready for the rest of the day. I had a zen corner and it would allow me to have more than 7 minutes for cereal.

this hasn't happened. I'm going to be honest here. I'm still eating a 7 minute breakfast and now using the extra time to get to my job early and work, uh, 9 hour days. my zen corner looks very peaceful whenever I rush by it on my way from the shower to my room.

hypocritically speaking

confession: I do not regularly practice the leisurely breakfast. in fact, there are between 7-10 minutes allotted for breakfast in my morning routine on work days.

breakfast consists of soy milk and the Kashi whole grain cereal that resembles cat food. I inhale my cereal, make sure I don't have any left in my teeth, and then rush out the door by 6:35 am to catch the bus.

I hate it. I miss reading over breakfast, not getting hungry again by 8:30 am, and mostly feeling in control of my morning - something that sets the tone for the day. eating on the run feels gross and far too modern for my liking, but when I have to choose between a leisurely breakfast and waking up even earlier than I already do, I'm afraid there's not much contest. it's unsatisfying and counter to much of what I believe about both food and life.

I'm considering skipping breakfast at home entirely and just having it at work. this would be multitasking and awfully yuppie, but maybe would give me more time to pull myself together in the morning? I'm not sure. suggestions are welcome.